Momma Does Things

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

Heaven knows how much I need this weekend. Work was brutal in the past week. There is a little bit of pressure for my project to go live early next week. Not that it is a negative thing. Sure, I feel the pressure, but at the same time, I feel pretty proud of what I am currently doing. I am thinking of doing some work later this evening, during PH time, so that I won't feel the time pressure. It's overtime work I am willing to do, but perhaps only this once.

The lesson here is to not volunteer to another department needing an extra hand. That was where I was wrong. In the week that I was supposed to start my project, I got sidetracked because I had to do some data analysis elsewhere. Here I am, thinking about the consequences of my actions. It is still not so bad, but I know that this should not happen again. I have learned my lesson well. No good deed goes unpunished. Indeed.

Don't, Can't, Won't?

Why is it that even if something is not right, one still does it?

I ask rhetorically because I do know that spending too much on one aspect of my life ruins another. I am aware of it, and yet I still give in. See, I'm supposed to actually be cooking our meals, but it's either I really am lazy or I have executive dysfunction. I know I should do it, but I can't seem to do it. I just don't.

It's not that I hate cooking either. While I find doing the cleanup after cooking abhorrent, I know it has to be done. I also did it without fuss when I was younger. But in the last few years, I don't get to do a lot of things. I don't have a lot of energy for a lot of things.

At the very least, I can work, meet all our financial obligations, provide more than enough for my son's and our cats' needs and wants, and take care of my hygiene and grooming very well. But the things that require physical action have really fallen by the wayside. I address that issue by hiring a maid and having food delivered. I know I need to cut expenses, and cooking our own meals would help me save more. Not that we lack funds. I earn well enough that we live a comfortable life. It's just that I really would like to save more to invest more. Since I cannot live without a maid, homecooked deals can be a way to do so.

I have a plan for addressing this. It is good that my work keeps my mind sharp and retains some vigor in me. Lately, I have more frequently been thinking about making a change for the better. I know. Action is much more needed than plans.

I can only persevere.